She wants destruction, she wants revenge, she wants minions to bow at her paws, and she wants, above all, to Never Be Snuggled Again.
People have often commented on my choice of a rabbit as a pet. Dogs play fetch and cats catch mice. Hamsters run in wheels and parakeets whistle. What do rabbits do? Well, they eat, they poop, and then they eat some more. So how could a rabbit possibly be an entertaining or rewarding companion?
To those who question my rather odd choice of loving housemate and companion, I can only say, you do not understand rabbits. Particularly, you do not know what goes on in the mind of my resident creature of darkness: Bella the Bunny. She is evil wrapped in fuzz and she provides all the entertainment I could possibly desire.
While to the untrained eye, Bella might seem to be an ordinary sort of animal who munches veggies and indulges in the occasional frolic, a closer look and a deeper gaze reveal the would-be killer within. Just ask Bella and her twitchy little nose will tell you: “If I had opposable thumbs, your death would come swiftly and the world would be mine.”
Bella is a creature of extreme angst, and dark thoughts lurk between her fuzzy ears. She has plotted everything from world domination to a simple homicide (I was late bringing her breakfast one day), but the sad realities of fluff, paws, and chubbiness have thus far inhibited her; hence, the angst. I tried to suggest an outing the other day and the glare I received in response was truly murderous.
Perhaps you, too, have had the pleasure of taking something innocuous, seemingly plain, or uninteresting, and turning it into something exciting and worthy of a story. I think there is extraordinary entertainment to be found in using one’s imagination to take something as harmless and innocent in appearance as a bunny and transform her into a creature of doom and despair. She wants destruction, she wants revenge, she wants minions to bow at her paws, and she wants, above all, to Never Be Snuggled Again.
The imagination is a fabulous device. It allows worlds to evolve from a moment’s inspiration and it allows bunnies to become forces of darkness. There are few things that I enjoy more than narrating the thoughts that I see going on in that fluffy, little head. The stories that I could tell you about Bella would keep you up at night.
I challenge anyone to call a rabbit like Bella “boring” or “unfulfilling” as a pet. She is a fluffy white bunny with a little black soul, who has proven to be a wonderful, if terrifying muse.
Cuddle her if you dare.
While We're Paused... 
I dare not dare.
The ghost of Harvey haunts me. Who could snuggle a six-foot puka?
I’m still up for a pot of rabbit stew. Anyone else?…
Ok, not really, but this is why I need to get a cat, there is so much more potential in cats, if a rabbit can be that evil just think what a cat could do…I mean, the Egyptians used to worship cats…no one ever worshipped rabbits.
Everyone underestimates rabbits, you see. They can’t imagine something so small and fluffy could have so much potential for destruction. Cats and dogs, on the other hand, are very obvious about it.
Aha the Brits already saw the potential for evil in bunnies!
For instance take Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Haha, yes, I originally mentioned the MP rabbit in my post, but didn’t want to make it any longer. They did recognize the inner psycho-killer in bunnies, indeed, though their bunny was sadly lacking in personality. Bella is much angstier.
I get a lot of inspiration from my dog, Jasper. For one thing, I modeled a dragon after him in my forthcoming novel! I have had many entertaining pets over the years, many of whom have inspired poetry, essays, or short stories. I wrote a story once about the plots of my two psychotic parakeets, whom I imagined were just trying to “gaslight” me (shortly thereafter, I sold the nasty little creatures). I had a wonderful cockateil named Oliver when I was a teenager; I used to make him act out Shakespearean comedies. I think he enjoyed it. For my Bible class one year, I wrote and performed a skit in which Oliver starred, playing the role of Sin (I got an A).
… … … …Maybe I should avoid getting that cat.
Does she have sharp, pointy teeth?
haha, I love this. I have a sweet bunny named Waffles who gives off the exact opposite vibe… I’m not sure I could even conjure up a scenario in which he’d plan my destruction… although he does LOVE to jump over my face again and again when I’m lying on the floor, so maybe he’s just hinting to me at who’s boss.
I am a psychotic bunny rabbit and I am planning on taking over the world.
I would like you and bella to join me.
http://theadventuresofmrbunnsy.weebly.com/
:3